When the Inner Critic Shows Up: Tools to Reclaim Your Confidence and Voice

This past week, I attended a professional speakers mastermind—a full day of connection, conversation, learning, and growth. But it was also a day full of something much less glamorous: imposter syndrome.

I found myself surrounded by some of the most accomplished voices in the industry. Speakers who’ve toured with Oprah. Who host national television segments. Who’ve started global foundations. Who sit on boards for NASA and consult with the White House.

And then… there was me.

That’s when she showed up—my inner critic. The voice I’ve come to know all too well. I call her my “mean girl voice.” You might have a name for yours, too.

“You don’t belong here.”

“You’re not enough.”

“Who do you think you are?”

Oddly, I wasn’t feeling stressed or overwhelmed. But there she was anyway—front row in my mind, holding up a big, bold sign that read: YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH.

The Power of Presence

Just as I was about to escape to the water station (again)—because moving my body and drinking water is my personal hack for resetting my mindset—I noticed a man in all black, quietly working the room. He moved with care and intention, cleaning up plates without disturbing the flow of conversation.

I brought him my plate and struck up a short conversation. His name was Angel.

We joked about my (terrible) pronunciation of his name, shared a smile, and then went our separate ways. But ten minutes later, Angel approached me—his eyes filled with tears. And he said something I’ll never forget:

“For the first time in months, someone made me feel seen.”

“Most people don’t even look at us, much less ask our name.”

That moment stopped me in my tracks. Because he had been feeling what I had been feeling all day: unseen, unworthy, not enough.

We talked about how the smallest acts—like a genuine hello or using someone’s name—can carry massive weight. We talked about what it means to truly see someone.

And that’s when I made a decision:

For the rest of the day, I was going to be fully present. Not to network or prove myself—but to see people. Genuinely. Authentically. Intentionally.

And guess what?

That inner critic? She shut the hell up.

What To Do When Your Inner Critic Shows Up

We all have moments—sometimes full days—when our inner critic takes the mic. But over time, I’ve learned to build a toolkit for those moments. Here are a few strategies that helped me (and might help you too):

1. Move Your Body

Even small physical movement—walking to get water, stretching, stepping outside—can disrupt negative thought loops. Movement literally shifts your energy and gives your nervous system a moment to reset.

2. Ground Yourself in Presence

Look around the room. Notice someone else who might be feeling small or unseen. Offer a smile, a compliment, a hello. When you focus on seeing others, it has a powerful boomerang effect—you start feeling more seen too.

3. Name Your Inner Critic

Giving that voice a name or identity helps you create distance from it. I call mine the “mean girl voice.” She doesn’t get to run the show. She’s allowed to ride in the car, but she doesn’t get to touch the steering wheel.

4. Remember the Facts, Not the Feelings

Feelings of inadequacy are not the same as truth. Remind yourself: you were invited to that room. You do have value to share. You are enough—even when your brain tries to tell you otherwise.

5. Connect Deeply—Not Broadly

Instead of working the room, work the moment. One meaningful conversation will fill your cup far more than 10 surface-level introductions. Depth builds confidence; small talk doesn’t.

You Are Exactly Where You’re Meant to Be

Angel reminded me that impact starts with presence—not prestige. And when I stopped trying to “belong” and simply started connecting, everything changed.

The inner critic quieted. My confidence returned. And I remembered:

I was enough.

Just as I was.

And I was exactly where I needed to be.

So the next time your inner critic grabs the mic, try this instead:

Move.

Connect.

See someone else.

And remind yourself—you belong here.

Because sometimes the most powerful voices in the room aren’t the ones on stage…

They’re the ones who make others feel seen.

I’m Krista Ryan

My job is to help you learn a little, laugh a lot, and get clear on action steps for your success.

It may have taken a life changing event to shake me awake and decide I no longer wanted to live a comfortable life… I wanted to embrace the discomfort and live a life of courage and intention.

Connect with me: